Bittersweet Goodbyes

Goodbyes have never been good to me.

Sometimes, my heart is pained with the thought of saying goodbye to people I care for. Why must I be plagued with such emotion?

On my last day at the office, I was stricken with such grieve, to such an extend that I could not bare to vocalize the words to anyone I worked with. Very few people knew of my separation from the project and even less people wished me a fond farewell.  I remember walking into the building.. heading straight to the 5th floor, quietly exiting the elevator and making my way to the PMO office. I quietly placed my belongings at the desk of one of the coordinators. I remember looking up, saying hello and turning to make a run for it. However, One person specifically called out to me and said, "what kind of a goodbye is that?" I turned to face him and walked toward him. I remember my words were short with the bravest smile I could muster. I wished everyone success in their roles and to rest knowing that I was taken care off.

See, it would have broken my heart to say that despite knowing my circumstance, I was unsuccessful in securing placement on another project. So I concocted a story that I had something on the horizon. And while this was true at the time. The reality is that things fell through.

Today, I find myself on the unemployment line, looking for work. Like many other people, trying to secure employment. All I really want, is employment with an organization that will know how to utilize my skills.Somehow, this feels like I am asking for too much.

Confident in my skillset, I am comforted knowing that I can achieve it, I can gain employment with a firm that will have a proper place for me within their structure.