Misery loves Company

Misery loves company. Yes, we know this. 

He recently reached out to me, asking for my home address. Says he wants to send a traditional Christmas card. I haven't responded to him yet. Don't believe that I will. 

A running theme with me is "strange love." He was the strangest love that I have known. 

Although, I can't begin to quantify my love for him. I must admit that I cared a great deal for his well-being. Surely, that must mean something!? 

The story of Us was short. He tried feeding me his insecurities. I refused. I have always  considered myself to be a complete person, never looking for my "other half." I want another complete person, so that we can accompany each other on this journey. Like myself, he was greatly flawed but it seemed as thou we complemented each other. 

it was when he yelled at me that I could no longer take it. accusing me of faltering, when I never did. in retrospect, it was his insecurities that warped his perception. He saw a reality that was not complete. 

That night was when I said my goodbye forever. 

But he persisted. Coming in and out of my life over the last few years. 

Thinking I could befriend an ex-lover. I was wrong.

I have never been one to befriend a lover. I don't get that concept. If I don't want to be with you romantically, what makes anyone think that we can be friends? I obviously don't like a certain part of you to want to spend time with you otherwise. 

For whatever reason, my exes want to continue to be friends. again, I don't get it.  <hairflip>

Did he just say what I think I heard him say?

Sometimes, people are ignorant beyond measure. Sometimes, people are just bullies.

They say things to rile people and get under their skin.

On a high from a week long vacation, I arrived Friday morning and instead of staying home, I decided to go out and dance the night away with my favorite party buddy.

We arrived at my favorite establishment in the city of Long Beach, CA and headed upstairs to meet and say hi to my favorite bartender. He served our drinks and we continued towards a seating area overlooking the dance floor.

After realizing that my bartender was not on his game, as the drinks were relatively weak and not very flavorful either, we downed our drinks and headed back to him, in the hopes that his technique would improve, but to no avail. Again, my party buddy and I downed our drinks and headed to another bar downstairs to the second favorite bartender, a total hottie, who makes drinks especially strong.

While bantering with the bartender (in the downstairs bar) and taking shots with him and him preparing our drinks, a random stranger approaches us and wants to chat. After a brief conversation, he takes a seat next to me. He explains to me how he is 90 percent "hetero" and when he is highly intoxicated, he enjoys making out with guys but that he's never slept with another guy. I mockingly said, "oh how sweet, this straight boy is waiting for Mr. Right to sweep him off his feet and fuck the living shit out of him."

Fast forward an hour later, that same dude comes up to me on the dance floor and tries to dance with me and then he gravitated towards another guy on the dance floor.  I didn't think much of it because men are fickle this way.

I should note that because of inclement weather, I was wearing a light cardigan sweater. During the course of  dancing, I took off my sweater so that I was more comfortable and laid it on a booth where I was resting my drink.

This guy comes back around and (I believe that in his drunken stupor) comes to stand in front of the area where my drink and sweater were placed. Because you can never be safe with strangers around your drink. I inched closer to my drink and moved it out of his reach. He grabs my cardigan sweater from its resting spot and he was trying to make sense of the material. I moved towards him and said, "Yo, that's my sweater" and took it from his grasp. He turns to me and says, "are you sure that's your sweater?" I replied, "yes!" and he says to me, "that's too small for you...you need a larger size."

I said to him, "bless your heart, thanks and I wish you well."

I was stunned that someone, so rudely, would say a horrid thing like that.

I know I should pay no mind to ignorance in any way, shape, or form, but this guy takes the cake.

I wanted to kiss him...

Friday Night.

More than enough reasons to celebrate. The end of a long week. Pay day. A friend's birthday festivities. 

After having dinner in the company of wonderful people. It was intended that I finish the night in Long Beach. I was accompanied by a party buddy (PB). After the pre-game and binging at the bar, we came across my friend, whose birthday we were celebrating. 

He was accompanied by many people, at least 10 other individuals. After the customary introductions, my PB and I settled and started dancing. While my PB and I danced, PB was busy checking out the individuals accompanying my friend. He was sizing them up and plotting a move on the hottest one of all. So this plan was unsuccessful because the hottest one there, left early with his boyfriend. PB was slightly disappointed, but as they say "on to the next." 

In the group, there was a boy, who was not attractive by conventional standards, but still rather "fuckable." Whether it was the alcohol talking or pure animalistic desire. I set out to make a move. I inched my way closer and made myself approachable for him but the hungry voltures were on the move, a lot faster than myself. In a blink of an eye, a short troll was already grinding on this guy. Since my motto is, "Thou shall not block the cock," I took a step back and let the troll proceed, occasionally yelling out, "get it girl, get it!!"

Since the troll was highly intoxicated, he was escorted off the dance floor fairly quickly. 

I, again, inched my way closer. getting his attention and having him fixate on the sway of my hips, back and forth, back and forth. PB gets between the two of us and before you knew it, I was party of one on the dance floor. 

Not one to compete against my PB, I took the hint and sat my happy ass down. The PB, obviously oblivious to our mating dance and I knew that PB was thirsty that night, I was over it. While I sat and drank my drink, I gleaned over the far distance to see security trying to move my friend, the birthday boy, and remove him from the club. 

Curious to know what was happening, I realized that my friend was virtually immobile from the alcohol, perhaps blacked out? All the while, security was trying to get him to leave the bar. 

As I turn to reach out to PB, I see him making out with the dude I was attracted to and while I was disappointed (not in them making out), but in that my party buddy/ friend was  after a guy i expressed interest in and he expressed NON-interest in the same guy. 

Whatever, #OverIt. 

but I thought, who does that? what kind of a friend would go after someone in whom you've expressed interest in? 

So the night is over. I walk out with my (drunken) friend and decide to take him back to the hotel where he decided to stay. 

I managed to sober up fairly quickly, but I come back to the scene of the crime to try and find the PB, so that we can go home and end this sordid night. 

I found him... and he was looking for the boy. Apparently, the boy left my friend in search of someone else. He was pretty popular that night, obviously making his rounds. 

Thank Goodness that it didn't work out for me.