Story time with Robert, “Sorry, can’t talk right now…”

Over since his birthday earlier in the month. He has not stopped calling or texting me.  We started up again. He even hinted at the proposal that took place a year ago. He wants it more than anything and said that he is getting tired of being rejected. 

You see, it is not my intention to reject him.

Him: “I wish that you would love me, like I love you”

Me: “How can you say that? I do love you… but you are not ready for me to show you how much. If I did show you, you’d feel overwhelmed by my love and would want nothing else but to escape it.”

He took this as a challenge. He wanted to prove me wrong. That he would not be overwhelmed.

The holidays are always rough on all of us. I am in the middle of relocating. I have dedicated my efforts to looking for employment outside of California. The results are evident. I have gotten callbacks and requests to interview like you would not believe.

However, in a late night conversation with him, I decided to let him know that I have been traveling for these interviews and am just awaiting for a job offer and that I would accept it without question. His disappointment infuriated him, he asked, how dared I leave him? 

How dare I? I think, how can he ask me this question. He never included me in his 10-year plan… (I know, I asked for a 10-year plan, lol) but his plan was to work until 55 and travel with his mother (who is ill) until 60.  Never in this plan, did he say, maintain a relationship with a person, travel with my mother and my partner… no mention of involving another person (i.e., me.). So why does he ask why I did not include him in my plans to relocate?

After I told him this, he called me every night and we would be on the phone over 2 hours each night. 2 days ago, he told me how one of his co-workers expressed an infatuation with him. In addition, asked for advice on how to let her down gently.  His focus was on a resolve that would allow him to continue being Mr. Nice Guy. I told him that, “of all the people who have rejected me (or my advances) I have never thought of them as Mr. Nice guy… in my book, they’re the asshole who rejected me…” and I told him that he should expect this. However, the conversation kept circling back to him being portrayed as Mr. Nice Guy.

Finally, I told him, “I don’t think of you as Mr. Nice Guy, why do you care so much that she thinks of you this way?” well that must have upset him. Because he then asked me questions as to when I stopped thinking of him in this way.  He said that in my examples, it was obvious that I did something to make him react in not-so-nice way.  

My retort of course did not help any… I said, “I recognize the flaws in your character and I don’t hold it against you… surely, you must know this.” However, he did not take my comments lightly.  He abruptly excused himself and said that he must end the call… responses to my text messages have been very curt. Moreover, after several text messages from me to him, he responds, “sorry, can’t talk right now. Ttyl.”

I need to know where I stand with people. I simply need to know for my safety, my security… This way, I know how much I should get involved and where my limitations lie.  Emotional outburst like his, only make me want to keep my distance… so when he decides to text me or call me back… I already have an automatic message reply, “Sorry, Can’t talk right now, ttyl.”