He finds me Intimidating...

In conversation, he said he finds me intimidating... is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Truth is, he is not the first to say this to me, I have heard it before. I asked him "Why do you think that I'm intimidating  his reply was, "because you have a strong personality!"

I have never shied away from the conversation... I am sincerely interested to know why people find me unapproachable or intimidating... because the reality is that I am the most approachable "down to earth" person that you could ever meet. Sure it takes a while for people to get to know the real me... but people often find me to be genuine. I often lead my personal relationships with two key traits: Honesty and Loyalty. In jest, I often say things outside of my real nature. Most recently, I caught myself saying "I'm the t-shirt and jeans type of guy, even though I would never get caught wearing a t-shirt with jeans!." In addition, I often use a famous quote from Faye Dunaway, "I'm a bit high-maintenance, a little hot and cold never hurts."  Now, under normal circumstances when the person doesn't really know me, this can obviously be misconstrued. However, I am sincere when I say, that I am highly approachable and not the least bit intimidating.

Well, interestingly enough, I find that maybe some people just don't get my humor... could that be perhaps the reason why anyone would find me intimidating?! I doubt it.

So last night, I was on the phone with this guy, and in the course of conversation, while discussing life and its perplexities, he stopped me abruptly and said... "You are a strong person, of formidable character because you're such a Type A personality." I'm sure he meant that as a compliment... so I said, "Thank you." The question still remains, What is it in me that people are most intimidated by?

I used to have a boss who was quite abrasive and a bit abusive to his staff. He would yell and holler and scream orders all day, every day. However, he never yelled at me and spoke in a condescending manner to me. His daughter, who worked in our office, confided in me that it was because he didn't want to loose me as an employee and he knew that I would not put up with this behavior, I realize that she was right... I certainly wouldn't put up with it. Now, that I am older, I find that there is no need to accept certain behaviors or allow people to belittle us. So I will not cower or stop shinning my light so that other people can be at ease. I will shine my light as bright as I can, so that people can feel free to shine their own light too. I am realizing now, that this intimidates people but I mean no harm by it, so please don't mind me!

-Rob